On Tuesday evening, four of our good friends from Pennsylvania made a surprise arrival here in Casselberry. There’s Abe, the towering and slender leader of the pack; Nick, the instigator of them; Bebs, the grizzly macgyver; and then there’s Edgar.

Edgar may as well emanate laughing gas. And to add to his pleasant aura, he has been maintaining a 0.20 or higher blood-alcohol level, day and night, since the beginning of their voyage–this partially thanks to Nick, I might assume.

From what I can tell, Edgar started this trip without one necessity: money. Anyways, he’s been borrowing some from his travel-mates. And after days of eating and drinking on borrowed funds, well, maybe just drinking, he’d dug himself a nice bit into the hole. So yesterday evening he came across an opportunity. There had been an unfortunate accident earlier in the day that resulted in a dead squirrel in our backyard. And through a cross between his friends being assholes, and him owing them money, the challenge was on.

After countless offers of ten, twenty, fifty dollars and so on, the agreement was made on sixty dollars to eat the rodent. So cleaning commenced. Three butchers and many poor gag-reflexes later, the meat was set to be pan-fried. It was just then that the best scheme of the night was thrown onto the table: double or nothing to cook and eat the dish in the buff. With no perceptible hesitation, Edgar’s clothes lay in the dirt next to him.

Night was falling at this point, which is the part of the evening that people begin to show up. Now Edgar had an audience. A full grown man laboring over searing-hot embers, naked, and on all fours–that’s a sight to stroll up on.

The meat took no longer than ten minutes to cook through, and by this point, Edgar’s facial expression had morphed from uneasy to eager. He looked as if he could barely wait as the racks of ribs and thighs cooled to a suitable temperature, the dog was the only other being present that shared this emotion.

The crowd cringed as he sunk his teeth into the flesh for his first bite, some even stood back to avoid the spray of vomit. But before he could even swallow that first chunk, he chomped down again for a more filling taste. He loved it. Squirrel grease dripped from his chin and into his naked lap with every bite. It was beautiful; it was like man in his primitive and most natural state.

The crowd diminished as it was realized that they were simply watching a naked man eat a meal. And Edgar licked his fingers clean. He’d clobbered the challenge without so much as a flinch.

Edgar pivoted to his fellow road-trippers with an empty plate and one at a time, they congratulated him. Bebs bowed to him, Nick slapped him five, and Abe turned to him with a smile, and gave him a ‘hell yeah Ed, now you only owe me twenty’.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 14th, 2010 at 1:20 PM and is filed under challenges, dudes, nudity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.