Part one:

Independence day, an excuse to start fires, suck titties, and blow shit up just like our forefathers of the revolution, except we don’t die. They’d be so proud if they could just see what has become of their holiday: dirty animal group sex, firework head-shots, and all around respect for the past and what it means to our future. Get your history straight kids, Will Smith didn’t kill all those aliens for us just to be forgotten.

Part dos, the defeat, below…

You still with us? Well apparently that whole freedom thing only has significance on certain days of the week, and dirty animal sex is frowned upon by most of the legal system. So, starting with a simple noise complaint from the little old lady down the road, the July 4th casselberry massacre began. One fish, two fish, uncle Sam was ready to fuck whoever stood in the way, with the long dick of the law. He did just that, and lord almighty, what a fuck it was.

mug update: a couple of the mugs from 4th can be seen here, here, here, and here…wow. and the cops never found the crack.

]]> http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1552/meat-curtains-arbys-aint-the-only-ones-with-roast-beef-sangies/feed/ 7 http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1643/monday-night-relief-fuck-it-part-two/ http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1643/monday-night-relief-fuck-it-part-two/#comments Mon, 05 Apr 2010 20:15:39 +0000 greg http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/?p=1643 Remember that piss, puke, and vegetable oil concoction? Take that and mix it with sweaty girl-foot-cheese. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, actually fuck the pipe, just put it in your mouth.

Monday never tasted so gritty.

The second half of the night is usually a bit sloppier than the first. This night followed suit. And after every sloppy mess comes a sloppy mess cleanup.

While the dogs helped with the pasta, some of us scooped up the glass with our body parts. Teamwork. Just like Peewee Herman taught us when we were young and impressionable. Anyways, where’d this all start? Oh yeah, Ripping ass on Mondays can be quite sigity.

]]> http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1643/monday-night-relief-fuck-it-part-two/feed/ 3 http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1577/penile-shaft-tattoo-in-the-works/ http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/1577/penile-shaft-tattoo-in-the-works/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:15:56 +0000 greg http://www.hereforkicks.com/v2/?p=1577 Our very good friend Justin, shown above after a pretty heavy front porch session, is prepared to take one for the team by sticking a needle into his penis thousands of times until it reads ‘HFK’. There’s only one problem…

To properly perform a task like this, the penis has to remain erect for the length of the process; this is where you come in. Normally this is where we’d ask for naked pictures of your mother or ex-girlfriend, those would be nice too, but won’t do in this case. Why? Because no matter how intensely arousing the woman you are staring at might be, the sensation of something puncturing your penis skin over and over will surely outweigh your horny-level.

We need help from someone with access to Viagra or a like medication. Now, of course it’s highly illegal to send things like this through the postal service, and we wouldn’t ask anyone to do such a thing…so send us an email with any further information. Let’s make this happen.

Casselberry Creeper.Though resembling a gutted and stripped wonder-bread truck, this 1967 road warrior proved itself plenty worthy last night on its re-maiden voyage. Narrowly dodging the mailbox and grinding traffic to a halt straight out of the driveway was a great start, and after completing a full Casselberry bar-tour, it was obvious that this beast could hang.

Expect to see the creeper around much more; this is just the beginning, and with Aaron behind the wheel, it’ll be as dangerous as it will be fun–extremely.  Check out some spectacles below.