Old crow bourbon whiskey. Is it the superior, smooth taste that draws so many in? Is it because it’s been so truly quality since 1835? Or maybe, for some good old U.S. patriotism, as it was the drink of choice for our eighteenth president, Ulysses S. Grant? Any of these could very well be the reason why it’s so widely popular, but more realistically, the answer seems to lean more towards it’s price, it being $8.96 per 1000ml bottle. Wow, what a deal it is, not only do you get a bottle of eighty proof whiskey for that nine dollars, but you also get built-in, free of charge: a dance party, greatly lowered inhibitions, super human strength, and a whole slue of mindless games, including spatula-hit and orange-face. Thank you Dr. James Crow, for making our Saturday nights far more fascinating.

It’s the soup o the day, and believe me when i say, you don’t want it. When there’s that many different colors of goop coming out of your tip you should be living on leper island. Crack baby, don’t come back.

A recent trip to the big house proved more profitable than originally thought when we came home with a new pet, his name is Carlos (or is it?), and he’s a sixty-six year old, homosexual con artist. He’s homeless and has been living at our home for four days now. He dreams of one day making the commitment of surgically transforming himself into a female. Thoughts? Oh yes, keep and eye out for those buttons soon!

More stink-holes? Apologies, but it’s all too easy. In fact, there may not have been a day yet, in this fine year of 2009, that an exit-hole has failed to find it’s way from in between someone’s butt cheeks and straight onto this here camera. So anyways, a can waterfall is forming in the backyard, now that’s fine art. Stay tuned next time to do away with all of your entertainment deficiencies.